#10: The bird issue, I guess

jk it's mostly about selfies

October 04, 2020

Hello. So. Here’s the deal. I had something moderately frivolous I wanted to talk about this month, but, as is the way with 2020, things keep happening! I don’t address every political issue or moment of public import on here, but there are a couple things I thought I should mention first before we get into the part that is literally about hot-looking selfies. I’m not kidding.

At the moment I’m writing this, which will probably be at least a day from the moment I’m sending it, we’re about a day into the “Trump has coronavirus” situation. And now it is evidently spreading through his staff and other people he and they come into contact with often. I’m mostly surprised that it took this long, considering their ongoing disregard for basic safety, but also I spent a chunk of today wondering if this could be a lie designed to either garner sympathy votes, hawk a miracle cure, or downplay the severity. I still think that’s entirely within the realm of the possible for this administration, but the numbers of infected people have grown enough to make it unlikely. But: we are in a reality where we actually have to consider stuff like that, despite its patent bonkersosity, which makes me want to climb into a blender.

I also wanted to mention something that surfaced in the wake of Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s death (about whom I could not say anything that hasn’t been said, and more eloquently, elsewhere). Everyone suddenly went wild making donations to close Senate races and so on, and that made me think two thoughts, neither of which was pleasant.

  1. Where were these donations the day before? Those electoral races still needed the money equally as much before RBG passed away, but she had to die to get people to pay attention? Like yes, it brought home that her replacement was at stake here, but we knew that was the case anyway; she was getting on in years and had had two cancers! So, yes, hooray that people were making the donations at all, but it’s a little depressing that had she lived a little longer, people wouldn’t have donated in droves to these campaigns and results may have been changed by that.

  2. Point #2 is exactly the “results may have been changed by that [influx of cash]” bit, but louder. Is it not weird that “ability to be elected” is tied, here, to “amount of money the campaign has”? So they can, what - make more ads? Do other normal countries do this? Are you donating to the political campaigns of individual candidates, and if you do, is that considered make a difference to their electability? It’s bizarre!

Okay. Now that that’s off my chest, it’s time for: thirst traps.

Well, it’s not time for thirst traps, this isn’t that kind of a newsletter (should it be?). It’s time for a little exploration of the thirst trap as performance, as personal history, and as validation, which was spurred by reading this fantastic article: Taking Thirst Traps to Preserve Myself - And My Transition - In the Middle of the Pandemic. Now is when you read the article and then come back to me. I’ll wait.

Back? Okay, great. So, obviously I do not have the same life experience as the author - I’m not transitioning, and my body is not considered generally unclassifiable (it’s extremely classifiable) or “monstrous” by society at large (only by the usual suspects; gym teachers, embarrassed friends, parents, strangers in bookstores, etc) and that only for its dimensions. It’s not as revolutionary for me to take a picture of myself and determine that I look hot in it and show it, or want to show it, to a friend. But it is not nothing.

I fall into their first category: I’m taking more pictures that could be considered thirst-trap-adjacent. I mean, let’s be clear; every picture I’m thinking of when I say this is fully clothed and not doing anything sexual. When I think a picture of mine is a bit of a good one, it’s usually because of my facial expression or the general vibe I feel like I’m giving off. Maybe in a way I wouldn’t do in person, but who knows, when all this ends and I can see people in person again. Maybe I’ll be dispensing Looks to all and sundry. So maybe my pictures aren’t setting out to trap people on the basis of thirst, or entrap them into thirsting; maybe they’re something lower on the ladder. I’ve been mentally defining one particular picture as “an advertisement for having a crush on me,” which is perhaps the most egotistical thing I’ve ever said out loud on this internet and I'll plummet into a skin-crawling shame pit later thinking about it, but here we are: I have taken a few good pictures, and if someone else was the subject of those pictures, I’d be into it, so let’s not tell a lie. Also, applications are open.

Obviously, I have Complicated Feelings about even defining a picture as something on the thirst trap scale. But I can’t deny that my pictures have taken on a bit of a tone. How much of this is loneliness? How much of it is being almost 40 and ready for the utter absence of giving a fuck that I hear happens the day of your 40th birthday? How much is catching up, now of all times, on all the times earlier in my life I should have felt good about myself but still hadn’t reached some arbitrary “good enough” threshold? How much is just having a good haircut?

The article goes into the idea that it’s bad manners to think you look good, and that taking the time to make an image of yourself confers value on you, the subject of that image, and those are so true that they scare me - what have I done? How far have I transgressed, by insinuating that I am worth looking at? Is everyone laughing at me?

I mean, no. Probably not. No one is that mad about having to look at me. They actively relish looking at you. So don’t let my late night stream of consciousness keep you from taking some cute-looking pictures. Yes, I’m asking! But anyway, it’s interesting to think about: it’s something that usually, normally, feels appalling to me - not just taking the picture, but putting it out there with an “I am pretty sure you will be into this or at least benignly ambivalent towards it” attitude - but these days I too am doing it more and more.

Oh, lol, you thought I’d put a picture in this issue? Hahaha, are you serious? You know what I look like.

Some Links

Ok, I ran into this link when I was looking for something else, which I can’t remember, but two things: first, is this actually even close to right? Is the spookiest abandoned place in MA seriously half a zoo? And second, you’ll notice that all the ghost towns are former mining towns. This is not coincidence! Mining towns make great ghost towns. Sometimes they even build things out of stone, so they get reclaimed by the forest or whatever but still exist - in a way that logging towns do not. I’m not kidding! Logging towns turn into little rotted-out piles of haunted boards. The Eeriest Abandoned Place in Every State

I did not know ANYTHING about this period in history. Also it’s got a cool name. The Anarchy! When everyone carved circle-As into their arms. Metal. Your Guide to the Anarchy, the Bloody Battle Between Stephen & Matilda

Would you like to read about… a hunky eagle hunter? I mean he’s like, officially hunky. This isn’t my personal opinion, it’s from CNN. “The girls go crazy over him”: Meet Jenisbek Tserik, Mongolia's most eligible eagle hunter

I am extremely familiar with the “authenticity” cops who are nearly always not members of the culture they’re trying to ensure is sufficiently authentically represented: The Redemption of the Spice Blend

And now… time to enter… The Bird Zone:

Also, and this is really terrible and stupid, but I have a good link that I can’t share because I’m going to use it for a trivia category. Maybe afterwards. Also, “good” is in the eye of beholder, who is me.

Some tunes I’ve been listening to lately

This is our friend’s band and good luck getting this chorus out of your head.

Would you like to hear a song by someone who hit on Matt once after he played a show at the Midway, very drunkly but also very hilariously? Pretty sure you would. Also it was really hard to decide which Midnight Creeps song to pick. Probably you should just listen to them all.

Sigh… this song.

This month’s top five: foods I’ve dropped down my shirt this summer, probably a partial list

  1. Shredded cheese

  2. Granola bar crumbs

  3. Nuts (haw haw)

  4. Cereal

  5. A little bit of mashed potato that one time

That’s me… an adult.

Ok, I’m going to go fall asleep on the couch while watching Bob’s Burgers, and by “go,” I mean “remain.” I love you all, and remember that Caster Semenya should be allowed to compete in women’s races without having to get hormonal intervention because that is outrageously fucked up.

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