#11: Rich people ruining lives

Actual Updates

This is a hell of a time to be writing a newsletter. We are on the cusp of an extremely uncertain election, and while votes haven’t been tallied yet, if you’re reading this in a couple days instead, I doubt the votes will have been completely counted by then either. And when it comes to the result - well, a good result may still be bad (civil unrest! Trump refusing to concede/leave! who even knows how bad things will get!), and a bad result may be what spurs us to leave the country. That part is something we’ve talked about fairly seriously - we’re fortunate to have that ability, of course, since I’ve got dual citizenship, but we may very well move if things don’t go well. That wouldn’t be a quick move - obviously the process isn’t quick in and of itself, and lawyers will have to be involved, but there are also a lot of loose ends (currently referred to as “our lives”) we’d need to tie up. Our jobs, the house, paperwork, logistics, details… well, in other words, we’re going to have to live in it for a while if things go badly tomorrow and in the following days (as ballots are counted). But then… yeah. It’s strange to say we may not see each other for awhile (if we live in the same rough geographical area), because it’s been about 8 months since I’ve seen basically any of you. I’d like to see you again one day, you know? And how likely is that if I move across the continent?

It’s weird, too, because uprooting one’s life is hard, and I don’t want Matt to be as depressed as I was the first few years here, and having to is a miserable reason to leave a place, but I really would, of course, like to move back to Vancouver. I miss it, naturally, and it’s been long enough that there would be time for all its negatives (oh, it has them!!) to start from scratch in the “getting on my nerves” sweepstakes. So. I am experiencing emotions.

Okay. So that’s that addressed. (haha! that is definitely how emotions work!) Now I want to tell you that I did a pretty good and very niche Halloween costume, and spent a LOT of time making a fake nudie mag to carry around (I dressed up as someone who enjoys a stupendous work of a titty nature) that ultimately very few people saw and even fewer got. I don’t care, it gave me a small bright light in an unrelentingly shitty year. Anyway, I have a book recommendation for you if you like a) skeletons, b) people with a smart mouth, c) gayness (in space!!), d) more skeletons, and e) swords. Or if you just think I looked incredibly cool in my costume.

But I’ve talked about that book at length to anyone who would stand still long enough, so instead I want to talk about the book I’m reading right now. I realize I’m the last person to read Daughter of Empire, but in case I’m not, it’s an autobiography by Pamela Hicks, née Mountbatten, as in Dickie Mountbatten was her dad, as in that undead racist Prince Phillip is her cousin, as in all sorts of their relatives are, or are married to, or were, crowned heads of Europe. So… you know. They were doing all right. And the whole book is basically a wild ride through Rich People Land, which is surely still bonkers now, but appears to have been even bonkers-er in the mid-20th century, with detours to major historical events at which she was personally present. I will tell you the one anecdote that everyone tells about this book. In the 30s, at one point, her mom and mom’s boyfriend were going traveling somewhere and couldn’t or didn’t want to bring the two kids along. So they installed the kids and a nanny and a tutor in a hotel in another country (not back home, not where they were going, not where they had just all been living together) and off they went. And then they were gone for months, and things started to get a bit concerning at the hotel, and when they finally showed up to retrieve the kids, it turned out that they had written down the name of the hotel on a piece of paper and then lost it. So! They just kind of stuck the kids somewhere in a country and forgot exactly where they were for awhile! Totally normal and not boo boo bananas! Money is a weird drug! Lady Pamela has a podcast with her daughter and you bet your ass I’m going to listen to it.

And, to sum up, I retweeted this the other day but in case you don’t hang on my every tweet, look the hell at this. It is extremely cool but also, I hate it. Also, imagine Saturn with no rings. Naked like that. Ew. Well a shark saw that, so good luck to you in your future endeavours.

Some Links

Turns out I have a lot of them this month. Try to assuage your anxiety by reading these!

Spooky! Also, tell me you didn’t play around with a Ouija board when you were like 12 and definitely DID NOT push it, well then HOW IS IT MOVING THEN, and how did it manage to tell you that your crush also likes you back (they didn’t) The Strange and Mysterious History of the Ouija Board

Further spookiness! Also, I never saw my grandma’s ghost, but I do keep “seeing” or “hearing” my cat. She hasn’t given me any important messages from the beyond, though. Why Do We See Dead People?

IMPORTANT SCIENTIFIC DISCOVERY, EXCUSE ME: We Finally Know What a Dinosaur’s Butthole Looks Like

Okay, we’ve been rewatching Star Trek: Discovery season 2, which is outstanding and you should watch it, but all right: this is straight up just the spore drive, right? Also, fun fact, the character Paul Stamets on the show was named for the real life mycologist Paul Stamets who is mentioned in this article. Also, there’s a chemical in here called “jugalone,” which I’m pretty sure is what makes you into a Juggalo. Plants Talk to Each Other Using an Internet of Fungus

Raccoons are certified jerks but I have to hand it to these ones. 2 Masked Bandits Broke into a Redwood City Bank. The Culprits? Raccoons

I love old-timey gay content! Not Married But Willing to Be - Men in Love from the 1850s

Why don’t you subscribe to the Shatner Chatner yet? King Food I Want to Eat

Tunes I’ve Been Listening to Lately

What did I just say about Discovery???

Alright listen. The only YouTube link to this song is this one, which is good and all, but if you click through, the description misgenders them. Perhaps instead you should look up the album it’s from - My Prairie Home, which has a companion film that I still haven’t watched yet but need to.

Kim Shattuck died a year ago, and purely by the luck of the rotation, we’ve been listening to a lot of The Muffs in the past month.

This Month’s Top 5: Things Canada Has Going For It, For No Reason

1. Socialized medicine, of course

2. Pretty good chip flavors

3. Natural beauty

4. The metric system, except when you’re talking about your own height and weight, I’m not kidding, there are weird unwritten rules

5. Me, maybe?

Okay, so I hope tomorrow goes okay and that this country doesn’t explode into murderous chaos afterwards, and also that I get to see you again at some point. I am sure one very hopeful bitch tonight for no discernible reason!!