#12: It's the most... miserable tiiiiime... of the yeeeeear

Actual Updates

Not to do the “2020 bingo card” meme, but who had “Camille keeps a New Year’s resolution”? I’ve done this newsletter for a whole year! And, uh, what a year to start with, huh? Simultaneously a lot to talk about and nothing to talk about. Can’t wait to see what fresh hell 2021 has in store to make this year look tame.

And now, Christmas. My least favorite holiday! All I like about it is decorating the tree and listening to Christmas music, my taste in which tends to the choral and the medieval, although let’s be honest that “All I Want for Christmas Is You” is a jam and deserves its place alongside the classics. But the rest of Christmas is a stress mess. You have to think of things to want, or people get annoyed with you. You have to get people stuff and it has to be good or you hear about it for the rest of your life. You have to do this in time for the right day. And, if you’re me, you have to try and think of one really special present to get someone that they didn’t come out and ask for, because only buying off a list says “I don’t really know you at all.” Note: I know that this isn’t true, and normal people don’t think this way; this isn’t the “well adjusted person has her emotional shit together” newsletter!

Anyway, Christmas is now infinitely worse because we have to get stuff for the kid that he will love, and I have to try and ride herd on the SUPERGIFTER tendencies from my in-laws and husband (he grew up getting movies as a stocking stuffer!) so that we don’t dig ourselves into a hole for the future and have to keep one-upping ourselves. And on top of that I have to watch out and not ruin Christmas. I nearly did yesterday morning; I commented that not being able to go to stores this year really ruins stocking stuffers, because that browsing experience is key to finding this or that little thing for the stocking, and of course I forgot that Santa does the stockings, and the kid was within earshot (but not paying attention, thank god). I rag on my parents for giving the game away when I was 6, putting their name on the present that was a toy and Santa’s name on the present that was pajamas, but watch me ruin it for my kid when he’s 3. What can I say, I’m an overachiever at being terrible.

At least we have a mysterious art installation/alien artifact appearing and disappearing in remote locations all over the world (not a monolith - “lith” refers to stone, and this isn’t, and I’m fun at parties). Maybe for their next trick the aliens can just chuck the metal slabs down at us from space and take out all life on earth.

Also, maybe now that November’s over and all the frenzied writing energy has dissipated from this world, I’ll start writing on my stupid book again. I should get some kind of award for studiously not touching it for a whole month. Literally left my characters standing around outside a door they need to get into. Great at this.

Okay, okay, okay, I should probably try to say ONE thing that isn’t totally miserable. Hold on, I’ll think of something. Oh, okay, so I got myself a little present early: I bought an external CD drive so that I could listen to Christmas music (my taste in festive tunes does not go over well downstairs so I have to keep it to myself), and my own cds, not all of which are available online, while I work. And it’s working pretty well so far! It’s recognized 3 out of 4 cds! That’s not too bad! We are all just holding on as best we can!

Some Links

First things first, I need you to see the existence of this, perhaps the worst sweater of all time. Or the best??? Note: it is ever so slightly NSFW, so click with caution. My apologies if you’ve already seen this, I couldn’t contain myself. And neither can this sweater.

Dinosaur skeleton fights!! That actually sounds more spooké than it really is, but it’s actually super scientifically exciting because it’s full skeletons. World’s First 100% Complete T-rex Skeleton Found Locked in Battle with a Triceratops

From fossils to fossil galaxies. Damn, I love a segue. Scientists Spot Signs of 'Fossil Galaxy' Lurking in the Heart of the Milky Way

From… the heavens… to… book heaven? I don’t know, this segue was a stretch. But this library sounds amazing: How Helsinki Built “Book Heaven”

Ooh, but this one’s easy: from book heaven to HELL PLANET! See you there! Scientists Discover Bizarre Hell Planet Where It Rains Rocks and Oceans Are Made of Lava

Okay, I’m fresh out of segues. But this is cool: hair science! Science informing history! Science being used to tell human stories! This story basically bullseyed me straight in the brain. Your Life Story Is Growing on Your Head

And, finally: smells! The very first paragraph is mindwarping: people were trying to drive out bad smells with hot tar? Like, just how bad did everything smell that hot tar was an improvement? (Very.) What Did Europe Smell Like Centuries Ago? Historians Set Out to Recreate Lost Scents

Tunes I’ve Been Listening to Lately

I feel like I went through a needlessly Bjorkless period? I started listening again recently and had one of those “looks like I know all the words to this song” moments where you don’t think you know it all that well, but it actually seeped into your brain because you’ve been hearing it on the radio since you were 11. Well, anyway, don’t be like me, don’t have a Bjorkless period!

This is the first song my now ex-band learned to play, and honestly, our rendition was PRETTY GOOD, and also the sentiment of this song is especially true these days. Like, no, don’t get weird, I’m not going to come plant a big one on you the second it’s safe to do so, but we are kind of getting to that level of loneliness. Don’t lie to yourself.

I really wish songs from Caroline Rose’s first album could be found anywhere online, but ~*labels*~ or something are preventing that, so they’re not. So I guess I can’t share Mr. Blue Jean Man, but this song is on both that album and the next, and one day I’ll convince Matt to learn the guitar part (or I’ll just… learn to play guitar myself finally) and we’ll play it at a Porchfest or something. We never did do that mini-online-Porchfest this year, by the way.

Also, it being December means I’ve done a full year of songs and now I’ve put them into a playlist, and only two of them disappeared and went grey when they previously used to be available, which is not too bad, I guess. Also, it doesn’t include a couple songs that were linked somewhere in this year’s worth of newsletters and were never on Spotify, more’s the pity, sorry to Old Hat and Rae Spoon’s first couple albums.

And hey! If you listen to it now, you’re in the SPOTIFY SECRET ZONE of the year where nothing matters and songs don’t count towards your stats! So if you love it, wait until January and then listen to it a bunch, I guess.

This Month’s Top 5: Foods I have had secret stashes of

1. cheese - the only one I’ve been caught at, by the way, and only once

2. Halloween candy

3. Pop-tarts

4. half a sandwich (really) (it helps to have a full fridge)

5. a pack of those Effies Oatcakes crackers

All right! Well! It’s been a year. From multi-month appliance replacement sagas to global pandemics, and me whining and complaining and trying to make you listen to some Can-Con through it all (really not that much of it was Canadian!). Thank you for sticking with me this whole time. See you in 2021, if we all make it another month. I’m sure I’ll have lots of exciting new things to bitch about then! I love you all and I hope Dolly Parton’s vaccine gets widely and safely distributed soon and that we all take it and push through the side effects so that we can all see each other’s beautiful faces in person again.