#13 The Himbo Merman Ken of Newsletters

Actual updates

One fun thing about the January issue is that it’s easy to write in advance. With nothing going on in the last few days of the year, and work either closed or at a low ebb, I’m writing this thing three days early, like a responsible person. (ed. note.: didn’t finish writing it until Jan. 2, though!) Ooh, look at me, I’m on top of things! Well, it’s either be on top of this, or be on top of eating more of the leftover Christmas cheese, and since I don’t relish pants-shopping in a pandemic, it’s this. And yes of course Christmas involves cheese. Why would you even ask.

I’m trying to spend this time writing. My other New Year’s resolution last year, aside from sticking to this newsletter, was to not drop my other writing projects, and while one has, unfortunately, not seen the light of a computer screen in many months, it’s because I’ve been putting my efforts into the other one - and it’s really starting to go ok. I don’t know if the content is good, although one reader gave me a very encouraging comment (although they might be the kind of person to do that even if it totally sucks ass), but I’ve written more than in any other work other than the time I did NaNoWriMo in college. I’m still not sure how I squeezed 50,000 words out of that one. I remember the key plot points, roughly - I just don’t know how it took me 50,000 words to get to where I got to. Anyway, writing that much in a month is not tenable when I have a job and also another job which is not paid. I’ve got significantly less written on my current thing, and I’ve been working on it on and off for months, but it’s a lot better than the old NaNo story was. I think. At least, it’s got more interesting bones, and you all know how I feel about interesting bones.

But speaking of resolutions, I think I have some. They aren’t really fleshed out, but I want to take something from this bad year into next year and learn from it. Thinking about what I’ve given up and didn’t wind up needing; thinking about what I’ve given up and need badly. One thing that has come out of this year was telling friends that I love them all the time, fervently and volubly, and I would like to stick with that even when I do get to see them in person. Maybe I’ll even work my way up to saying it out loud. I also like the way my social life was briefly more active, early on, because I could attend things without leaving my house (so no need for a babysitter). I want to do more of that, and stop being sad and lonely when it’s avoidable. And I know some people are going to come out of this wanting to avoid human contact whenever possible, which is totally valid and understandable - but I think I’m going to be on the opposite end of the scale and want to be crammed into rooms with everyone I know, and make up for lost time. I am going to hug some people.

But I guess I’d better keep the writing resolutions in place, too.

Some links

This is wholesome. A journalist in Prince Edward Island rounds up the headlines of the year on the island, and here are this year’s: P.E.I. Newsmakers of 2020 Include a Giant Beet and a Crop Circle Penis

This article may be a couple of years old, but it’s extremely important science information that I bet you didn’t know: Scientists Have Finally Created a Database of Which Animals Fart and Which Do Not Fart

This one has been making the rounds lately, but it’s so accurate and relatable to anyone who’s ever worked in a restaurant (and other customer-facing jobs). I actually had a couple other articles to link to that, like this, are depressing in an unsurprising way (sexism exists! covid denier weddings exist!! conspiracy mom instagram influencers exist!!!) but I decided to only bum you out once this month. The Customer Is Not Always Right

I am posting this link in case there’s any chance any of you don’t subscribe to ¡Hola Papi! yet, but I assume you all read this a month ago. Anyway, I would watch every one of these but I’d lie and say I hadn’t watched Ratz. Top 5 Rat Movies I Made Up

I did okay at this! But not great. I think I got like a 12 or 13 out of 20? I took this quiz like 2 weeks ago and can’t remember, which kind of proves the point. I’m not even sure it’s out of 20. Anyway, your turn! How Much of the Decade Do You Actually Remember?

I’m adding this one mostly for the title, but also… don’t we, though? Hear Me Out: The World Needs Himbo Merman Ken

Tunes I’ve been listening to lately

Woo! Get ready for another year of tunes you’ll scroll past! Starting the 2021 playlist now!

So, okay, due to - as usual! - labels and their shenanigans, this is a live version and not the album version of this song, but Red % X was the Kinnie Starr song I would put on every mixtape I made for awhile, until I stopped making tapes and cds for people. But I guess I’m making you a tape in the shape of a playlist, so. Also, I saw her at Cafe Campus on my 21st birthday, which is not a big deal in Canada, and it was a great show. Additional Cafe Campus facts: it is the location where, having been drinking straight from the pitcher, I hit a guy who was getting unwantedly handsy with my friend, and it is also where we sat out front of playing “Typespotting” with a group of pals. That is where you peoplewatch and point out the passers-by who are your friends’ types. I was always easy to pin down, but to be fair to me, so was everyone else!

Okay, continuing the trend of “artists I saw at Folk Fest and probably also at the Cultch,” and also allowing myself to repeat artists now that we’re into a new year, more Rae Spoon! I really wanted to use “Go On For No Reason” because, come on, what more of a 2021 vibe is that, but I couldn’t, so this song is also a jam.

I actually had to go back and check to make sure I hadn’t already put Burrito Baby on here.

This month’s top 5: Letterkenny characters according to how much I want to protect and/or marry them

Of course I wrote this while watching the new season. Leave me alone.

1. Tanis (marry, obviously, she doesn’t need protecting)

2. Darryl, for whom I carry a pure and abiding love

3. Roald

4. the hockey dummies (they count as one)

5. tie between Stewart when he’s being vulnerable and the hockey broads, and yeah, Katie, I’m not blind

Anyway, I love you all and I would have told you that even if I hadn’t just drunk a glass of a 14% beer, which, okay, what is Trillium’s deal with taking a beer like that and putting it in a wine bottle? And also what is Trillium’s deal more generally, honestly. Still tasted good, though.