#36: Time travel is real and it's terrible

Thanks for nothing, internet!!

December 08, 2022

Actual updates

Okay. So, about a week ago, I had written about half of this issue and had the rest noted out (most importantly and time-consumingly, I had looked up and pasted in all the links that I was going to share). I had reached a point where I was going to link to something relevant I had discussed in a previous issue, so I clicked back out to the dashboard to find which issue it was. Substack autosaves as you type, so I can (or should) be able to move back and forth from a draft in progress to other pages of my account with impunity.

Or so I thought.

I clicked back into my draft and found… nothing. It was blank. It had the temporary title I had added initially (“#36 December”) since I write the actual title nearly last, but nothing else. A blank white page. Empty as my brain trying to focus for work on a Monday morning.

Clicked into the version history button. Nothing. Well, one thing, the version I was currently seeing, from days prior, when all it had was a title (in fact, the version was labeled [untitled] despite there being a title and nothing else). I bolt for their support site to see if someone can help me with this. They cannot. It’s not the kind of support you can contact; just a help center, and as such it’s less about “here’s what to do when a problem happens,” since that would make it clear to everyone that problems do occur with this platform, and more about “here’s how to use this or that great feature.” Okay, so no official help will be forthcoming - to the internet!

The internet informs me that other people have had this problem, although mostly it was being kicked back to an earlier version that had, at least, some content in it. So the problem does not appear to be that Substack loves to delete your whole draft, but rather that they love to turn back time - which, I mean, I get it, Cher is an icon - and I was unlucky enough that time got turned back to a point at which I hadn’t written anything yet.

Okay, so techmology aside, what’s been going on lately? Well, we all got the flu - Hap really had it, he had a high fever for a week (his body’s preferred method of dealing with anything is “turn up the thermostat”), but Matt and I both had a couple days of feeling moderately crappy as well. We’ve all got our flu shots, but you know how the flu shot is; it’s based on the variant of the flu virus that is projected to be the real problem each year, and it’s possible for that projection to be incorrect. Looks like it was this time! Get your flu shot, but also be careful in general; apparently this year’s flu is not very respectful of the fact you’ve had the shot.

Other than that? Well, I just wrapped up a D&D campaign I was DMing (my first time!) with some friends, and look, it might be cheesy, but the real treasure really was the friends we made along the way. Sure it was largely a bunch of people I was already friends with, but I got to become closer friends with a couple other people, and even made a new friend in the sibling of another buddy. But it was still fun to send a bunch of people on what might have been a wild goose chase on behalf of an extremely untrustworthy trickster god, through a slightly altered and somewhat postapocalyptic BC(ish) landscape. Did I bog them down for too long in old train tunnels, yes; did I get to write a dragon battle that was at the same time slightly steamy, also yes. So it was all worth it on balance.

What am I reading

Well, now, after all this extra time, I am nearly done with this book - it’s Slash’s autobiography, which is entitled, perhaps unsurprisingly, Slash. It’s an interesting read for me as a person who has no specific interest in Guns N’ Roses (although I do have several of their songs imprinted permanently on my brain, due to being alive during part of the relevant time period). So a lot of the big headlines about them missed me entirely, meaning I got to read about them for the first time in this book.1

First, it’s funny to me that this month it’s an autobiography, last month it was an autobiography, and in September it was also an autobiography. I promise that in between I was reading a bunch of fiction! But if you’re just seeing what I read here, I must come off as a Big Biography Bitch2, which is kind of surprising to me - I never think of myself as much of a fan of that genre! But here we are.

On to the goods. As a Hollywood autobiography, it delivers where it counts: lots of dirt on various famous people. He is not shy about burning bridges and saying exactly what he thinks about the people who he feels have done him wrong. And, for that matter, there's lots of dirt on himself; other than a few cases where it was "everyone else’s fault"3 that they couldn’t get it together, he is very open about how high and/or drunk he was all of the time. An interesting thing about the drug stuff is that even though he’s gotten off them, he barely moralizes about them at all, even when talking about friends and acquaintances who are still in the thick of addiction. He’s pretty honest that most of the drugs he took were a great time and made him feel fantastic! Up until the point where he was butt ass naked running around a golf course, being chased by little demons that only he could see, of course. But it’s just nice to see someone be honest about why they were knee deep in a pile of assorted drugs or what have you; I feel like the genre of “drug memoir” carries the risk of always being a cautionary tale, like it’s being presented to high school kids by DARE or something4.

The book was published in 2007, which doesn’t feel that long ago, but some parts of it might have been heavily reconsidered or rewritten had it come out today, and here I am specifically referring to some of the girls Slash dated or hooked up with (including his then-wife, whom he first met when she was 17 and he… wasn’t). She’s not the only teenager he got together with, either - and yes, I know, he was a huge international rock star, and teenage girls the world over have the hots for the stars of their preferred genres, and I also recognize that “well, he could have said no” is deeply unlikely in terms of how often he said no to anything, especially bad ideas, but at least have a bit of perspective writing about it, you know? Maybe don’t be so cavalier about hooking up with girls who had to sneak into the show. But I guess that had still not struck him, at least at the time of writing, as something that was wrong of him to do. So that’s one big mark against the book, or at least something to be aware of going in, for any of you who are in the market for rock autobiographies of the 80s and 90s. Although if that’s a market you’re in, this is probably not news to you.

Some links

I feel this way about our local spot down the hill. They closed without fanfare during the early pandemic shutdowns, but never said anything about either reopening or being closed permanently. We’ve recently heard they’ll be reopening soon and I’m astonished they lasted, being closed that long. It’s a Miracle Your Favorite Local Bar Still Exists

More space content, and it’s the kind of thing that gets people really excited, although it is not the first time this was found and it might not exactly put the question of life on Mars to rest here and now. Possible Organic Compounds Found in Mars Crater Rocks

YET MORE space stuff (from the same site as the previous, in fact). This one delivers the rare anti-Owen-Wilson. Double Telescope Study of Zone Where Wow! Signal Originated Comes Up Empty

Space content/Earth content crossover! Time to update my periodic table shower curtain, I guess!5 Somalia Meteorite: Joy as Scientists Find Two New Minerals

This is the same parasite you can get from inhaling the dust when scooping a litterbox (and why you’re not supposed to do that particular chore when pregnant, aka the only upside of pregnancy). My notes for this literally just said “cat shit parasite!!” Oh, uh, spoiler alert, I guess. Parasite Gives Wolves What it Takes to Be Pack Leaders

More brain stuff! This is the opposite of “didn’t cure my depression but it’s cool,” I think? Can’t remember if I ever felt depressed during my Mushroom Era, but I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t, after the age of 12, so let’s just assume it didn’t really work for me. Maybe I didn’t have it bad enough.6 Severe Depression Eased by Synthetic “Magic Mushroom”

This is very fascinating! What Happens to Babies Born on Planes

Further in clothing, historical - and yes, Isadora Duncan’s scarf is on this list. I feel like I make a reference to that at least once a month. What Not to Wear: The Deadliest Hats, Scarves, and Skirts in History

Tunes I’ve been listening to lately

Tis the season! The season for the 2022 year-end playlist! It’s like what if the Spotify Wrapped included cds I played, cds Matt played in earshot of me, songs that I heard elsewhere, and things that Hap got obsessed with and therefore made me listen to a lot, and didn’t invent any weird genres to name the music you’ve known for years. Also, it accidentally features two songs off the same album. Whoops! Anyway, Here it is!

Sleigh Bells’ first album will always have a place of honor in my heart, but recently the “Jessica Rabbit” album has grown on me. This song’s ominous vibe is perfect.

Speaking of ominous vibes. I bought my sister-in-law crow (or raven?7) earrings one year for Christmas and thought about this song the whole time. Now I am thinking about it again. Seasonal!

And finally, finally, the song that has been on repeat out of Hap’s mouth for the past week, Ace of Base’s 1994 megahit, THE SIGN. That’s right: Hap has turned into me, age 12, and as such, he cannot stop singing it all of the time. Secretly, I am fine with this. Please enjoy its VERY 1994 music video, featuring such key components as- photos of flowers- photos of hands- people doing flips- extremely Meaningful dancing- vests

This month’s top 5: Best of 2022

I shall now attempt to round up 5 of the best things from this year, for varying definitions of “best.” Wish me luck.

  1. The utterly disastrous camping trip that turned the corner to hilarity

  2. The time I overflowed our toilet by puking in it

  3. I turned 40, which was nice, and got over Covid just in time to see some friends and have a picnic and drink some beers, which was even nicer

  4. AIR TRAVEL HELL

  5. I finally, finally, finally sent in the Permanent Residence application packet, and things have progressed a bit - maybe just a tiny bit! but that’s something! - since then as well

Alright, that’s a wrap on 2022, kind of8! I hope your year winds down peacefully and that your social media feeds aren’t full of people you thought you knew but who gleefully went to the World Cup and haven’t got a critical bone in their body about it. It’s always startling when you realize what some people you thought you knew are willing to look past.

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